Fill in the blank
Judge: Academian, you are charged with being a pretentious and passive-aggressive ass. How do you plead?
Academian: I must confer with my counsel, your Honor.
Academian (to counsel): What evidence do they have on me?
Counsel: Well, you can expect the prosecution to put on star witnesses Kansasgirl, Mrs. Marcia Dentist, and MindSpewer, who will all testify that you were a total dick. In addition, the prosecutor has, over objection, obtained – and is prepared to present – copies of several of your recent posts. Do you have any defenses you’d like to raise?
Academian: Can I say that I was temporarily insane at the time?
Counsel: I’d advise against it, Academian. The court looks disfavorably on adding a second layer of douchebaggery to the first.
Academian, sighing: Alright. Your Honor? I plead guilty to the charge of being a pretentious and passive-aggressive ass and throw myself on the mercy of the court.
Judge: The plea is entered and accepted. I hereby sentence you to…
Academian: I must confer with my counsel, your Honor.
Academian (to counsel): What evidence do they have on me?
Counsel: Well, you can expect the prosecution to put on star witnesses Kansasgirl, Mrs. Marcia Dentist, and MindSpewer, who will all testify that you were a total dick. In addition, the prosecutor has, over objection, obtained – and is prepared to present – copies of several of your recent posts. Do you have any defenses you’d like to raise?
Academian: Can I say that I was temporarily insane at the time?
Counsel: I’d advise against it, Academian. The court looks disfavorably on adding a second layer of douchebaggery to the first.
Academian, sighing: Alright. Your Honor? I plead guilty to the charge of being a pretentious and passive-aggressive ass and throw myself on the mercy of the court.
Judge: The plea is entered and accepted. I hereby sentence you to…
posted by The Academian | 6:10 PM
3 Comments:
Mind Spewer likes cookies.
Seriously people. Only one of you can come up with an act of atonement for me to perform?
Aw, Kansasgirl. Aren't I sweet enough already?
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