Why my future wife will demand to plan the wedding on her own...
A bit of news arrived last week (I think it was last week, anyway... my sense of time is a bit off) and I thought I might cast it into the ether. When I couldn’t find any volatile, highly flammable liquid in the form of C2H5OC2H5, I thought I’d post it on my blog instead. Ha! Science jokes always get the ball off to a good start...
What’s that? You don’t like science jokes? That’s the trouble with you all - not nerdy enough. That’s alright, though, because I think I’ve got the solution. And remember folks, if you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate. Ba-dum bum ching!
Seriously, though, my brother, whom I have mentioned several times, is getting married and he and the future bride have finally set themselves a date and time for the wedding. I haven’t always liked all of my brother’s girlfriends. He used to date the older sister of one of my best friends in high school, but she ended up being a bit callous. While she was gone over a summer break, she met another guy, started dating him, and ended up dumping my brother. My brother used to date another woman when I was in college, and even got engaged to her, but she ended up being about as bitchy as they come.
I’ve been dumped my fair share of times... And they all really take the wind out of your sails. I’ve been dumped in person. I’ve been dumped via IM. Once, I was even dumped by letter even though the girl lived next door to me (the real kick in the pants on that one was that she ended the letter: "Thank you for your time and consideration..." as if it were a business letter).
My brother’s old girlfriend (the one with whom he was previously engaged to be married), dumped him (called off the wedding and everything) on a holiday... When she had made plans to fly out to see him... When he’d bought the non-refundable plane tickets... And she did it over the phone... From half a country away.
Ouch.
Before, I’ve never liked his girlfriends (even before they did the awful things to him), but this one is different. I like her. She’s an amazing person who seems as sweet, intelligent, artistic, beautiful, and compassionate a woman as I would hope for my brother (and that says a lot about her). On one of my trips out to visit my brother in Seattle she even took me on a day trip to an out-of-the-way zoo to see penguins while my brother was at work. Anyone who can find a way to bring me closer to penguins gets an extra gold star in my book.
The wedding should be great. While anyone can get married in a church, rent a space in a park, or go down to the courthouse for a good ol’ fashioned government wedding, my brother and his future wife wanted their wedding to be unique. So they chartered a boat and will get married while sailing the high seas (those are commonly found in Washington state, me mateys... Arr). What’s even more spiffy is that they are getting a sea captain to officiate.
It’s hard to beat that in terms of uniqueness. My idea is to take it a step further though. If we’re going for unique, why not take the next logical step? Pirates. Yes, pirates. A pirate themed wedding would be sure to get things off to a good start, right? Who doesn’t like pirates, anyway?
Make anyone who suggests ‘the chicken dance’ for the reception walk the plank, roll around in a pile of gold dubloons, and get married all in the same day while wearing an eyepatch. How could a day get better?
I just hope we can find enough grog.
What’s that? You don’t like science jokes? That’s the trouble with you all - not nerdy enough. That’s alright, though, because I think I’ve got the solution. And remember folks, if you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate. Ba-dum bum ching!
Seriously, though, my brother, whom I have mentioned several times, is getting married and he and the future bride have finally set themselves a date and time for the wedding. I haven’t always liked all of my brother’s girlfriends. He used to date the older sister of one of my best friends in high school, but she ended up being a bit callous. While she was gone over a summer break, she met another guy, started dating him, and ended up dumping my brother. My brother used to date another woman when I was in college, and even got engaged to her, but she ended up being about as bitchy as they come.
I’ve been dumped my fair share of times... And they all really take the wind out of your sails. I’ve been dumped in person. I’ve been dumped via IM. Once, I was even dumped by letter even though the girl lived next door to me (the real kick in the pants on that one was that she ended the letter: "Thank you for your time and consideration..." as if it were a business letter).
My brother’s old girlfriend (the one with whom he was previously engaged to be married), dumped him (called off the wedding and everything) on a holiday... When she had made plans to fly out to see him... When he’d bought the non-refundable plane tickets... And she did it over the phone... From half a country away.
Ouch.
Before, I’ve never liked his girlfriends (even before they did the awful things to him), but this one is different. I like her. She’s an amazing person who seems as sweet, intelligent, artistic, beautiful, and compassionate a woman as I would hope for my brother (and that says a lot about her). On one of my trips out to visit my brother in Seattle she even took me on a day trip to an out-of-the-way zoo to see penguins while my brother was at work. Anyone who can find a way to bring me closer to penguins gets an extra gold star in my book.
The wedding should be great. While anyone can get married in a church, rent a space in a park, or go down to the courthouse for a good ol’ fashioned government wedding, my brother and his future wife wanted their wedding to be unique. So they chartered a boat and will get married while sailing the high seas (those are commonly found in Washington state, me mateys... Arr). What’s even more spiffy is that they are getting a sea captain to officiate.
It’s hard to beat that in terms of uniqueness. My idea is to take it a step further though. If we’re going for unique, why not take the next logical step? Pirates. Yes, pirates. A pirate themed wedding would be sure to get things off to a good start, right? Who doesn’t like pirates, anyway?
Make anyone who suggests ‘the chicken dance’ for the reception walk the plank, roll around in a pile of gold dubloons, and get married all in the same day while wearing an eyepatch. How could a day get better?
I just hope we can find enough grog.
posted by The Academian | 7:55 PM
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