Coming up daisies....
I'm in love.
Or at least, I think I am.
Or at least, I think I am.
posted by The Academian | 5:52 PM
The Winter of My Discontent
Total number of times people have assumed I'm gay since starting to write here: 8 and counting...
About Me
- Name: The Academian
- Location: Everett, Washington, United States
I am a dedicated futurist and a strong supporter of the transhumanist movement. For those who know what it means, I am usually described as a "Lawful Evil" with strong tendencies toward "Lawful Neutral." Any apparent tendencies toward the 'good' side of the spectrum can be explained by the phrase: "A rising tide lifts all boats."
- Forced connections probably don't work but I don't...
- Fiat Justicia, Ruat Coelumtet [Let justice be done...
- Good way to wake up
- Weekly downer
- Questionable Content
- Go back to your demographic charts, dude. Trust me.
- So long as I'm not a lady-in-waiting...
- Shocking discovery
- Absurdity of the day
- To allay the worries of friends
9 Comments:
With the Immigration law prof? Because you like the way she looks on chilly days?
((Academian incurs a series of deep-spine shudders))
Ugh, MS. Are you trying to rob me of the rose-colored tint with which I am currently meeting the world? That's almost enough to make any man lose that special feeling for members of the opposite sex.
Unless someone can convince me otherwise, the identity of the newest addition to the list of women I call "Lady Perfect" will remain anonymous. I told Kansasgirl this morning that it was someone that she knew, and I shouldn't have said that much.
I see it as one of those questions where there are no good answers, like "Did you stop beating your wife yesterday?" No matter what I say, something will turn out badly.
Look at it this way. What if I told one of you who it was, and it was you? Awkwardness ensues. What if I told one of you who it was, and it was not one of you? Suddenly I'm faced with a silent (perhaps even unconscious) "What I'm not good enough?" attitude that goes along with any rejection.
Since this is not a Lady Perfect with which I can reasonably see something happening for a variety of reasons (most of which are very good reasons, probably), her identity isn't really all that important to the outside world anyway.
What's impoortant for any readers to know, though, is that it is Spring, and, true to form, I've recognized within myself feelings that are important to my self-identification.
Congrats on your last realization.
Here's my question: Can you really love this girl if you haven't spent that much time with her? Maybe your not in love, maybe it's just infatuation.
You do raise a possibility, MS. There is always the possibility that my feelings for this woman are not what I believe them to be. There have been dozens of women before who have risen to the height of those in my short list of women who can be called Miss Perfect, and who have fallen from their position days or weeks later without ever having known of their meteoric rise.
That said, I'm usually terribly good at recognizing and identifying my emotions, even if I have few tools at my disposal to handle them appropriately. I spend quite a lot of time with them, studying their myriad facets and interactions, and I typically can recognize what I have come to name each one. This feeling is different than, but similar to, how I feel about a few others who remain in my list of 'Miss Perfects,' even though I have not seen some of them in a decade.
How I feel about this woman does not have the qualitative sameness about it as the rise and fall of my brief attachments - it lacks the intensity of those previous attachments.
Emotions to me are a bit like cooking. Some people may call it an art, but if you are good enough, you can start to pull it apart in your mind to figure out what went into making a good dish. I only wish that I were as good at cooking as I am at dissecting my internal states. This particular meal consists of a healthy dose of adoration and respect, contains a small dash of regret at the knowledge of what exists in the world that I don't have, and another spoonful of regret at the barriers that prevent me from doing anything about the respect and adoration. Smother in a sauce of guilt for my brief wish that the barriers did not exist, and then sprinkle liberally with relief that the barriers are firmly in place and unlikely to move.
I'm fairly sure that last bit doesn't make quite as much sense to other people as I wish it did, but having failed to come up with a better way to parse it, I'll leave it as it is.
You and Kansasgirl have managed to wrest a few small puzzle pieces out of me as to the identity of my current Lady Perfect from which I am grateful no direct identification can be made (I am truly serious about wanting to avoid the disaster of either awkwardness or bruised egos, depending on who it is, particularly since nothing will come of these feelings except my own recommitment to the passions of life), but wherever did you get the idea that I had not spent a lot of time with this one? Maybe that supposition is correct, or maybe it is false. I don't recall having suggested any definite amount of time.
You didn't mention a specific amount of time. But I figure I would've heard about any girl that you were spending tons of time with.
Good catch. You would have heard about it, at that, if I'd have spent lots of time with her. There are puzzle pieces out there that I hadn't planned on, now.
Has falling in love some how caused you an inability to update your blog?
Love should be no reason not to blog. In fact, it can act as a catalyst for you to blog. You can tell us all about your lady love: what she looks like, what she does with her time, etc.
So get crackin'.
If it is gushing you want, MS, I can gush to your heart's content. I think that she is beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, fiery, impish, imperious, adorable, and lucky. I feel like she could wrap me around her little finger with a smile, and make me grin while she did it. While all of those things are good, even more importantly, she has a beautiful soul. With a list of qualifications like those, how could a fellow not like her? Unfortunately, it isn't meant to be.
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