Computer Death

Alright, it’s been a while since I’ve had the desire or ability to sit down and unload some of my thoughts in written form to the ether. Part of this hiatus has been caused by my stress-related meltdown which has stymied my attempts to accomplish anything of any real, lasting import. The lion’s share of this difficulty, though, has been due to the spontaneous death of my computer.

My computer is now in its final death throes, and there is perhaps a 60% chance that I’ve lost virtually everything on my hard drive (a fine thing to have happen at the end of a semester in which you have theses due in classes). One might think that this would exponentially add to my overall level of stress, but I’ve found it oddly liberating. Somehow, it is as if, knowing that there was too much for me to handle all by myself, I am free to not care about handling everything alone. Once I was able to break through that wall, it was surprisingly easy to get my parents to chip in and help me prepare for my upcoming graduation and move.

I’m in the middle of a whirling maelstrom of things that need to be done, and I’m only capable of doing a fraction of them, but somehow, I just don’t care - consequences be damned.

It’s a bizarre feeling.