Honest Request
It has come to my attention that I’m not a very great person. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that I’m an awful person, but I’m certainly not as decent of a human being as I probably ought to be, as my numerous missteps and blunders evidence.
I will be gone from Kansas for a large part of the summer, with plenty of time to think about who I am and who I would like to become. With that in mind, I would like to propose that I spend that time engaging in a project of personal growth and enrichment, in an effort to avoid making quite so many egregious errors in the future. I’m not demanding that I come back perfect, but maybe just a little bit less of a jerk.
To that end, I would be much obliged if people that know me – whether personally, through my writings, or otherwise – to leave anonymous, honest assessments about my strengths and weaknesses as a person. Any recommendations about things I could do to fix these problems would also be much appreciated, if applicable. I know that sounds like an awful lot to ask of however many people I actually have left as readers, but it would mean quite an awful lot to me.
I’ve always thought that an apology wasn’t very sincere when it was followed up by the same bad actions that necessitated the apology in the first place. How can a battered wife trust her husband when he says that “he’ll never do it again,” when he’s said that after every time he’s abused her? How can you trust a drug addict who says that they are sorry for getting high and endangering themselves and others, when you’ve heard that same litany dozens of times over (usually followed by a bender on whatever drug is their drug of choice)? Well, I feel an awful lot like a person who is engaged in that sort of cycle right now, and it isn’t a very nice place to be.
So with that in mind, I’d like to do what I can to ensure that I’m not in a position to owe apologies for repeated instances of misconduct. I owe that to myself, and I owe it to the people around me about whom I care.
I will be gone from Kansas for a large part of the summer, with plenty of time to think about who I am and who I would like to become. With that in mind, I would like to propose that I spend that time engaging in a project of personal growth and enrichment, in an effort to avoid making quite so many egregious errors in the future. I’m not demanding that I come back perfect, but maybe just a little bit less of a jerk.
To that end, I would be much obliged if people that know me – whether personally, through my writings, or otherwise – to leave anonymous, honest assessments about my strengths and weaknesses as a person. Any recommendations about things I could do to fix these problems would also be much appreciated, if applicable. I know that sounds like an awful lot to ask of however many people I actually have left as readers, but it would mean quite an awful lot to me.
I’ve always thought that an apology wasn’t very sincere when it was followed up by the same bad actions that necessitated the apology in the first place. How can a battered wife trust her husband when he says that “he’ll never do it again,” when he’s said that after every time he’s abused her? How can you trust a drug addict who says that they are sorry for getting high and endangering themselves and others, when you’ve heard that same litany dozens of times over (usually followed by a bender on whatever drug is their drug of choice)? Well, I feel an awful lot like a person who is engaged in that sort of cycle right now, and it isn’t a very nice place to be.
So with that in mind, I’d like to do what I can to ensure that I’m not in a position to owe apologies for repeated instances of misconduct. I owe that to myself, and I owe it to the people around me about whom I care.
posted by The Academian | 4:55 PM
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