For my inspiration:

"I'm very proud of you"
--[Academian]
Dedicated to my inspiration, my colleague, my confidant, and my friend.

I’m not much of one for babble.
I don’t put much stock in tales.
Oe’r banter and o’er gossip
Foibles leave their little trails.

Although I won’t admit it,
It is very clear to see.
Not one of us is spotless,
And least of all, not me.

We all have made our errors,
Our bad judgments and mistakes.
But honesty’s the only way
To ease life’s gives and takes.

I am insensitive and very proud.
I have skeletons galore.
I could feed the nest of vipers,
But they keep coming back for more.

It’s the rare and special person
Who can admit their fault with grace.
I just wish that we could do it
Without first falling on our face.

The first time down is hardest.
You think you’ll never make it back.
No matter how you think you’ve lost,
You’ll find you’re right on track.

I’ve been hearing awful stories
And I hope they aren’t true.
No matter how it all works out,
I’m very proud of you.

You are a woman all your own -
My fellow and my friend.
I know that you are strong enough
To see this to the end.

You’re braver than I’ll ever be
And, no, it’s not an act.
I know you’ll make it through this trial,
And that, friend, is a fact.

No victory without some loss;
No loss without some gain.
I’d like to say that it won’t hurt,
But you know there’ll be some pain.

We cannot be transparent,
And not one of us is glass.
Just close your eyes, and step aside.
This moment, too, will pass.

You’re the one who kept me sane,
And gave me good advice.
I respect you as I always did,
So I will say it twice.

Just keep your wits about you,
Be honest and be true.
No matter how it all works out,
I’m very proud of you.

[Academian laughed]

I have always been a fan of Ayn Rand’s novel ‘The Fountainhead.’ A novel ostensibly about an architect who refuses to play the nonsensical games he sees in his peers, and always does things his own way because he feels it is the right way to do things, The Fountainhead is an eye-opener in understanding how I approach the world.

I’ve always identified with the character of Howard Roark. Roark is in virtually every respect (with one glaring exception I do not begin to comprehend) an ideal man. His simple honesty about being a visionary genius is compelling and heart-wrenching, and it is made all the more poignant by the knowledge that the world, despising him for his greatness, will attempt to destroy him to preserve its own ego.
Unfortunately, I see within myself not the seeds of Howard Roark, but the seeds of Henry Cameron. I will live the life of a Cameron within the law, and will pay the same price as did he.

I wonder if there is a way to steel myself against the temptation to simply give in and do things the way everyone else does them, even when that way is so wrong as to be laughable, and do as Roark did. Re-reading the very first chapter, in which Roark is expelled from his architecture school for his refusal to design buildings that don’t fit with his philosophy makes me ashamed of my own good grades in an institution that refuses to open its eyes to the glorious truths which await our discipline once the chaff of the old guard is swept away. Each high mark symbolizes my loss of integrity to the cold institution which seeks nothing more than the destruction of individuality and vision, in favor of the conformity of ugly falsity.

There must be a way to regain the Roark-like confidence and diffidence I once possessed. I will find a way.

Election Day thoughts

1. I really wish that election pundits and journalists would learn their country’s geography. I appear to be the only person who gets sick of hearing things like “And now let’s turn to election results from the Midwest. In Ohio…” Really, people. Ohio is not, I repeat NOT part of the Midwest. I can let slide when people call Chicago part of the Midwest because it’s near the edge, but Ohio? That’s insane. The Midwest does not start at the borders of Pennsylvania. Kansas? Sure. Missouri? Yes. Iowa? You bet. Ohio? Not by a long shot.

2. Samantha Bee of “The Daily Show with John Stewart”… Hot or smokin’ hot? I’m thinking the latter.

3. Rick Santorum, a man so vile and hateful that a popular sex columnist named a foul bodily discharge that results from anal sex after the Congressman, was defeated. That’s what I call awesome.

4. I think I need to buy myself a calendar. I actually forgot it was election day until just after 3:00 pm.

5. I’m starting to worry about my politics. I watched election coverage on both CNN and Fox News for several hours, and walked away thinking that CNN’s coverage really seemed to carry with it a liberal bias (a bias in my favor, of course), while Fox’s seemed more neutral and impartial. Either the world or I have gone mad for change, and I’m hoping that the sweeping ouster of the ruling party indicates the former.

6. Kansas retained our democratic governor by a wide margin. I understood how that happened when she was elected for the first time. The Kansas Republican Party made a tactical error so large that I wondered whether their party leadership had been hijacked by the extreme right-wing nutjobs who stood no chance of being elected. It turned out that I was right. I thought the Kansas GOP had learned from their glaring mistake and nominated a more middle-of-the-party conservative who wouldn’t lose the independents and moderates to the Democratic Party. Strangely enough, he still lost. Even more bizarre, Kansas Congressman Jim Ryun lost his seat to a democratic challenger. Does this portend a slight shift in Kansas politics away from the right? It sure gives one pause. Gives one something else, too. Hope.

7. I can’t help but wonder to what extent this is simply a temporary reaction against the bumbling leadership of the national GOP. A small part of me wants to embrace this change as the gradual shift of America to be more in line with the nearly universally accepted values of the international community, but I have a strong feeling that it is just a small blip on the radar that will be the political landscape of my life. Sure, this election may have a small victory for the left – and maybe we’ll take the next one, too – but until the Democratic party can regain its soul, it’ll just be the anti-Republican Party, and will continue to lose the hearts of American voters.