Who knew Federalism and Term Limits could be so HOT?

I’d like to take a moment to address a problem of growing consequence for America’s male youth. There are many issues which face our nation’s teenagers. From drug use and peer pressure to gangs and violence, today’s young men face a world quite different from those of their fathers. Through it all, though, there has been a single unifying constant – a solid unmoving bedrock in the ever-changing chaos of their lives onto which developing men could hang their hats.

I’m referring, of course, to the phenomenon of the hot teacher.

Every high school has one. I’m fairly sure it must be a rule of the education business or something, but it’s true. Each high school has a young new teacher that turns the head of every young man.

Sometimes it is because of the way she looks. Sometimes it is because of how she looks at the students. Sometimes it is because of the way she walks, or the way she purrs just a little when saying her ‘R’s. Whatever her allure, she’s always been there for young men to dream about, just as her predecessor was there for their fathers, and just as her predecessor’s predecessor was there for their grandfathers. Whether the cute art teacher who wears her hair in a pony-tail, the sultry ‘emo’ librarian with the art-house glasses, or the bombshell brunette AP American History teacher (special thanks to Mrs. S., without whom the teapot dome scandal would not have been fascinating), she’s been there for all of us, showing us the promise of what college held in store for us: hot, educated women.

Recently, a group of people have stepped into America’s schools to remove this last bastion of awesomeness from high schools all over the nation. Quite recently, an attractive social studies teacher at a Florida high school was involved in serious scandal after an outraged mother phoned the school board to complain that her son’s social studies teacher (Erica Chevillar) was featured on the USA National Bikini Team’s website under the name “Erica Lee.”

After doing some *ahem* research of my own, I have discovered an undeniable fact: this young teacher surely had the rapt attention of every guy in the class while she taught them about the intricacies of the American governmental system. Some guys hate math class. Some hate science. I can guarantee that none of them hated their civics lessons, even before they saw the pictures.

Now, however, she is being hounded by the school board and investigated by an ethics committee for the district. As a response, she seems to be in the process of resigning to pursue a career in another field. Tragedy.

There are two main problems with this. First, don’t these mothers love their sons? Seriously. The crush on a hot teacher is surely one of those milestones for each young man to pass on his way to adulthood, and I’d wager something similar happens for young girls. Not only are these soccer moms doing their best to ensure that their sons miss out on this important rite of passage, but can you imagine the severe beatings that now face the son of the mother that complained? Good God. She might as well have sent him off to school with a sign on his back that said, “My mom killed Christmas.” Secondly, though, another American icon is slowly being ground into the dust by those trying to wipe out any last traces of fun from high school, and nobody seems to care. How sad.

And it is finally over...

I'm a 3L. Who'd have thought that it would be so scary? I wish I could still be a 2L.

Honest Request

It has come to my attention that I’m not a very great person. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that I’m an awful person, but I’m certainly not as decent of a human being as I probably ought to be, as my numerous missteps and blunders evidence.

I will be gone from Kansas for a large part of the summer, with plenty of time to think about who I am and who I would like to become. With that in mind, I would like to propose that I spend that time engaging in a project of personal growth and enrichment, in an effort to avoid making quite so many egregious errors in the future. I’m not demanding that I come back perfect, but maybe just a little bit less of a jerk.

To that end, I would be much obliged if people that know me – whether personally, through my writings, or otherwise – to leave anonymous, honest assessments about my strengths and weaknesses as a person. Any recommendations about things I could do to fix these problems would also be much appreciated, if applicable. I know that sounds like an awful lot to ask of however many people I actually have left as readers, but it would mean quite an awful lot to me.

I’ve always thought that an apology wasn’t very sincere when it was followed up by the same bad actions that necessitated the apology in the first place. How can a battered wife trust her husband when he says that “he’ll never do it again,” when he’s said that after every time he’s abused her? How can you trust a drug addict who says that they are sorry for getting high and endangering themselves and others, when you’ve heard that same litany dozens of times over (usually followed by a bender on whatever drug is their drug of choice)? Well, I feel an awful lot like a person who is engaged in that sort of cycle right now, and it isn’t a very nice place to be.

So with that in mind, I’d like to do what I can to ensure that I’m not in a position to owe apologies for repeated instances of misconduct. I owe that to myself, and I owe it to the people around me about whom I care.

Surefire way to make a peer reviewer scratch their head

A few days ago, I checked my mailbox at the University and discovered in it a manuscript from a professor for whom I am doing research. The manuscript concerns recent developments in the field of Second Amendment jurisprudence (fascinating material, I must add) about the nature of the right to keep and bear arms. Is the right one that vests in individuals? Or does the right vest only in groups sanctioned by the state? Does the right protect private or public interests? Significant debate among scholars exists over the nature of this right and we may soon have a definitive answer to these questions if the Supreme Court deigns to elucidate on the meaning of the Amendment for the first time in the better part of a century.

Last night, I sat down and read the manuscript (a draft submission to the Stanford Law and Policy Review) instead of studying for my two remaining finals. I'm sure the neighbors must have been waked from their peaceful slumbers by my howls of laughter, though, as I read the document.

It's not that the article was riddled with errors or that the material was innately giggle-inducing. It's just that when reading a scholarly work reviewing other people's contributions to a historical and jurisprudential topic, you really don't expect to see the word 'pussy.'

Sort of hits you off guard.